Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The loss of a baby during pregnancy remains a sad reality for many families. Kerry shares her story about her daughter Grace, who was stillborn, and how the experience has affected her and her family.

Kerry's Story

After struggling with infertility, my husband, Luke, and I were so thrilled to learn we were pregnant with our first child. We did all the things expectant parents do: we read the books, we signed up for classes, we decorated the nursery, and we kept a journal with entries we wrote to our cherished first child throughout our pregnancy. I read and sang to the baby, and my husband, a music lover, played a variety of his favorite songs to my growing belly. My baby shower was planned and everyone was excited. The countdown was on.

Grace's Footprints

When I was almost 32 weeks pregnant, Grace died from a placental infarction, which happens when there is an interruption in blood flow from mother to baby. Grace was stillborn on a rainy morning in 2003. Luke said that the world was crying for us. We held her and loved her as best we could. We tried to fit a lifetime of stories into a few short hours. She was baptized, and we kissed her goodbye for the last time. Our world changed forever.

After all this time, I think of her every day, and I am forever grateful that she came into our lives. I remain amazed at everything that Grace taught us, even though she didn't live to open her eyes or take her first breath. She taught us much about love and pain. These lessons were not always easy, but they have been profound and life-changing nonetheless. Grace changed me. Not in ways that I had asked for and not in ways that I expected. I think that she made me a better person. I wrote Grace a letter for her funeral. In it I stated that even though our grief was unbearable, I wouldn't change a second of it. We were given the beautiful gift of knowing her, and even though our time together was much too short, the love in our hearts was worth every ounce of the pain. We are richer by far having held her a moment than never having held her at all. These words are still true.

CDC would like to thank Kerry for sharing her family's story.

What can be done?

Each year, nearly 24,000 babies like Grace are stillborn in the United States.1 That is about the same number of babies that die during the first year of life, and it is more than 10 times the number of deaths each year from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).2

CDC works to learn more about stillbirth by tracking the occurrence of stillbirth and researching the preventable causes of stillbirth in order to determine who is at risk and why. Understanding the potential causes of stillbirth can lead to recommendations, policies, and services to help prevent them. While we continue to learn more about stillbirth, much work remains. Stillbirth is not often viewed as a public health issue, so increased awareness is key. Additionally, there is a need for increased training for healthcare providers in using stillbirth evaluation guidelines, providing access to grief counseling, and discussing with families why a stillborn evaluation is important. To learn more about CDC's activities, visit the Stillbirth CDC Activities page.

If you or someone you know has experienced stillbirth, visit our resource page to find organizations that may offer support.

References

MacDorman MF, Gregory ECW. Fetal and perinatal mortality: United States, 2013. National Vital Statistics Reports[1.42 MB]; vol 64 no 8. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2015.
Xu JQ, Kochanek KD, Murphy SL, Arias E. Mortality in the United States, 2012. NCHS Data Brief, no 168. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2014. Read report[553 KB]